But she's not there

There's another rescue attempt that I feel the need to document. I had become friendly with this lovely large gray squirrel since the beginning of February. She has a skin condition and may be pregnant.


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I had seen her around in January. She was always the first one to run over to greet me whenever I arrived, rain or shine. She was always there.

She seems to have formed an attachment to me and trusts me. I can walk right over to her and she doesn't jump or run away. It's hard to explain, but a few squirrels have a special quality that I like to call soul. I remember Lacy, the first squirrel that I befriended here, who had that same quality. In fact she lived right here in the same spot, and I wonder if this one could be her descendant. I remember the day Lacy left. She came over to see me on the bench and gave me a big smile (yes, Lacy would smile), then she went up a tree and I never saw her again. She wasn't sick as far as I knew, but she may have been quite old. I recall that her paw was shaking that day. She was an old soul, that's for sure. I get the same feeling with this squirrel.

I think she developed her skin condition after the bout of cold weather in January which then worsened after Nemo on February 9. Squirrels often develop skin and fur abberrations when they are pregnant. Their immune systems are afffected by pregnancy and also by the cold weather, when what may be a systemic infection inside all the squirrels has an opportunity to manifest. We rarely see these types of infections in the spring, summer and fall. 

I've been feeding her avocados, grapes, peanuts and an assortment of nuts. She has developed a white patch on her front left leg that looks like pus, and the sore on  her side has worsened.



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Bernie considers catching her but decides not to.

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On 2-15 I think she's starting to look a little better:

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But then on 2-16 it looks like she's had a set-back. Her arm has become stiff and she can barely use it now. She's  having trouble eating:

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She keeps walking towards me, then hesitating. I have seen squirrels do this when they want to be caught on one level, but on another level their genes as prey put them in conflict with that idea.



Bernie and I have a disagreement: he wants to take a "wait and see" approach while I think she needs to be caught today! The forecast for Sunday is very cold weather. They have also cut down one of the big trees so there is competition for space going on. I'm worried that she may not survive the cold. On Sunday it gets extremely cold, and there are 50 mile an hour winds! I stay home and worry about her. 

On Monday I go looking for her, but she's not there. I know something is wrong because she is always the first one to come over. I walk around feeding the others with a sense of foreboding. And then I see her -- Under the Bench.

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Words cannot express the sadness.

What breaks my heart is how she tried so hard to take care of herself. She came out every day to get something to eat. She never failed to do that, even last Saturday when she couldn't hold food in her paw. I failed her. I couldn't go on Sunday because the weather was just too bad, and she died.