squirrel swatters

Swat me, I'm a Squirrel! 

The latest PCV sport appears to be swatting squirrels. What makes a good squirrel swatter? Why the New York Times newspaper of course, which conveniently serves a dual purpose.  As I watched a lady in a big hat who sat ramrod straight on the bench reading her paper, every once in a while she took a break from the important ideas of the day, rolled the paper up and took an angry SWAT at the odd squirrel that had happened into her vicinity. Then she unrolled it and picked up reading where she had left off.  She obviously despised the creatures that shared her park.

But what about dogs? After all they are as ubiquitous as squirrels at PCV these days. Oh, dogs are just fine and dandy. After all, they are officially sanctioned PCV pets now.  A second lady came by and stopped to chat with the lady on the bench, who was practically drooling over her neighbor's big dog. When her friend was finally ready to leave she tugged on the dog's leash, saying "Let's go girl", and then twirled around and hissed -- I kid you not, HISSED -- at a passing squirrel! Did she suddenly feel like a cat?  I felt like calling out to her, "Hey lady, you and your dog are standing on sacred ground -- in the middle of squirrel country -- and your dog is the nouveau bitch around here!"


a possible squirrel swatter