Killer Squirrels!

The squirrel that roared

Excuse me, ma'am, didn't you get the email?

Actually I didn't.

We're not supposed to feed the squirrels.

Why not?

Because they're dangerous. They attack and they bite people.

Oh wow, really?

Yes, there have been lots of stories.

Oh I see. They're going to KILL us! They'll KILL US ALL!
Better that we should kill them before they have a chance to kill us. A good dose of old-fashioned starvation should take care of that nicely.

When will people get it into their thick skulls that squirrels are prey, not predators? These delicate, sensitive little creatures are scared of their own shadow. Ever tried to pet a squirrel?  Rustle a plastic bag and they jump sky-high. I've been feeding squirrels for years and I can attest to the fact that they have not become more aggressive, contrary to what we're hearing lately. Squirrels are total wimps. They prefer to keep their distance. They're after that peanut, and they'd greatly prefer it if you threw it down on the ground a good distance away. Trust me, they have no desire to get up close and personal with you.

I have seen children taunting squirrels by sticking their fingers out when they have nothing to feed them. It's possible that a squirrel could mistake a pudgy finger for a peanut and bite at it. But that's a case of mistaken identity, not an attack. And that can be easily remedied with a little education, teaching young children not to point their fingers at squirrels.

All I want is the peanut

The mass hysteria going around right now about malevolent squirrels is very sad because it affects their very lives. All it would take to combat this would be some basic education.